The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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