He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
