i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
