Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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