If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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