Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
