Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
