butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize