Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
