ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
