I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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