My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
