ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
