We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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