I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
