WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
