Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
