so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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