I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
