No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
