just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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