I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
