Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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