Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
