I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
