she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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