Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize