I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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