I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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