Your face is a jimmy john
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
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