i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
