I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
