thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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