need another drink. this is the easiest way
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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