I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
