i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He better not be in your backpack
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize