i permit you to call me
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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