I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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