We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
jump out the window naked night went bad
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
