you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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