You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
