I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
did i just pee glitter
I need to align my fucking chakras
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
