Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
