today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
