These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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