I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
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