his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
