i can't believe i had my finger in that
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
