I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
