remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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