Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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