So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's official drugs can't kill me
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize