Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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