Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
