So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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