Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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