if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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