I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
