It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
